Monday, July 3, 2017

Up Where They Walk, Up Where They Run

Hi!
I have been thinking about doing more things with this blog. It's kinda hard for me to explain, but alas, I shall try. I, for many years, have felt filled with a very large amount of 'creative energy'. I've tried art in various forms, but never felt that it remotely reduced the amount of said 'creative energy' that I had. It felt too passive, too slow. The only thing that I really liked was photography. I first bought a camera when I was ten. I remember saving up my money for months, till I had $100, and then going to Walmart (tres classy, I know), and picking one out. Technically speaking, it was a camcorder, but whatever. I remember being obsessed with filming videos on it, but not really liking that the photo quality wasn't very good. So, once again, I decided to save up my money. Eventually, I had enough to buy a proper digital camera. I feel like I was eleven at this point. Anyway, I bought a Nikon Coolpix. It was little and pink, and I LOVED it! Now, this still wasn't a particularly stellar camera, but pre-teen me thought it was amazing! I literally took it everywhere! I didn't have it very long though, as it broke out of nowhere. I think maybe it was defective or something. But still, it was good while it lasted. The point of all this it that photography has basically been the only thing that I've ever felt expressed my feelings, creatively and emotionally, as dramatic as that sounds. Now, don't get me wrong, I love expressing myself through style, but that never really helps to empty the 'creative energy' that I find myself very often filled to the brim with. But I feel kinda hindered by my current camera situation. Technically, I don't have a proper camera, just an iPod. It doesn't take as good of quality photos as I would like, and it's kinda hard to put in a tripod. But really, more than anything, it just doesn't feel right. I don't know how to explain it properly, but it's kinda like giving a painter oil pastels or something. Like, they can probably use them, but they would prefer to use paint. Now, sadly, cameras are not as cheap as paints and oil pastels. They are pretty freakin' expensive, and I'm on the fence about buying one. Obviously, it's a decision that only I can make, but that is why I haven't been posting a ton. I just don't feel as free to express myself, and that in turn makes me feel kinda discouraged, which results in less posts, which I don't like, and that then makes me feel even more discouraged.  It's kind of a vicious cycle.

With all that being said, here are some pictures I took the other day.
 Shirt - Savers  Skirt - H&M  Shoes - Amazon  Socks - Target  Headband - Walmart
 Like, I would honestly like to do more than just take outfit photos in my backyard. But I kind of feel stuck in a rut, which is obviously my own stupid fault. I hope this doesn't come of as whiny, cause' I totally don't mean it in that way.
Thank you so much if you read all that! I really appreciate it! I will seriously try to get out of this rut.
XOXO
 
-Emmy

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